Fresh steaming news

“We gotta go do this!”

“Huh?”

“They’re frobbin’ our greepers!  They’re dissin’ our twonkles!  They haven’t shut down their illegal vapinators and any year now they could be comin’ inna our cities with new-cleerah probbadingers!”

“Uh, yeah.  Uh huh.  Why don’t you just sit down, take a deep beath and –”

“We gotta act now.  I’m pressin’ the button.  I’M SAVIN’ OUR WRENGDOGGLES!

“NO!  You can’t –”

CLICK

“There, it’s done.”

“Next, on Fox News…”

[because, my Good Lord, the stuff that crawls across cable teevee at 4am-and-you-can’t-sleep cannot hold a candle to the words emitted by the inflatable hair-doos.  “Double-acting herbal-flush spray-on toupees that cure cancer” seem almost reasonable.  Almost.]

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