Behind the scenes

Man, there are a lot of critters in these MMORPGs. Virtually everywhere you look there is something crawling, sneaking, flying or swimming around, with its healthy appetite not far behind. You can’t go over the crest of a hill without running into something that wants to take you out and have a snack.

What I want to know is, where is all the poop?

These animals eat something. Whether it’s herbivores munching on incredibly fast-growing grass or carnivores eating said herbivores (and WoW, at least, leans heavily towards meat-eaters in its ecology), it all has to come out in the end, and there should be piles, absolute mountains of poop around. But there isn’t.

There must be some dung beetles cleaning up.  Some serious dung beetles.  There are probably dung-beetle bosses that make the level-70 bosses everyone is used to running raids against look like cute waggly puppies.  But, “… and then we were wiped by an Elite Elder Dung Beetle . . . again” just doesn’t have any sense of heroics about it, so the MMORPG designers hid them away.

Likewise, that poop must be simply laden with treasure: Gold, gems, magical knick-knacks, bits of undigestable armor and other equipment.  It’s not on the land, so it’s gotta be going somewhere.  Perhaps it washes out, down the streams and rivers.  My guess is that the WoW environment is simply stuffed to the gills with heavy metals.  The seas must be absolutely socked with lead, tin, mine tailings, partially smelted thorium waste and Gorbazon only knows what other nasty stuff.

My recommendation is: Don’t eat any Oily Blackmouth fish schooling near a river delta, and stay the heck away from the shellfish in any month containing the rune Krathmal.

This entry was posted in Rantage. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Behind the scenes

  1. Here’s how to catch a dung beetle, per my friend Brian Kerr:

    http://joechip.net/brian/2007/02/24/how-to-catch-a-dung-beetle-in-animal-crossing/

    They sell for 800 bells at the store.

  2. me says:

    blue dragon on the xbox 360. defeated enemies drop poo with treasure. poo snakes run rampant. the greatest bad guy ever is the king poo. youtube search blue dragon king poo to see what a rpg villian should be.

  3. Keith says:

    The poop is all in the Ogre areas. 🙂

  4. Micah says:

    There’s a quest in Nagrand where one has to collect scat. If one has the quest, the scat glitters. If not, the scat simply sits there and never decomposes.

    Look me up online if you’d like – graximandros on underbog or alexandrina on ysondre.

    Love your blog btw. Your story on Atari and DK was ‘epic’. Have you seen the documentary on Donkey Kong players? I forget the name.

    Micah

  5. Daniel says:

    Also there is a quest in hellfire that you have to follow a boar around and well find the item after he poos.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *