Handy Terrorist Template

To save you time, here’s a template.

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A top secret program to monitor

    [ ] Boxers -vs- briefs
    [ ] Sales of dental floss
    [ ] Frequency of over-sleeping
    [ ] Other

was today revealed by

    [ ] The New York Times
    [ ] The Washington Post
    [ ] Leaks from the White House
    [ ] Somebody in a trench coat
    [ ] A blogger

Bush Administration officials

    [ ] Denied the whole program
    [ ] Declared the program “absolutely critical to the war on terror”
    [ ] Threatened prosecution of the ( ) media ( ) internet providers ( ) registered Democrats
    [ ] Called anyone who disagreed with the administration terrorists, too
    [ ] Declined to comment
    [ ] All of the above

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