“Kids, before all these newfangled accessories, it was like this: You didn’t get curious without permission, you didn’t look cross-eyed at someone else’s screen, and you sure as hell didn’t tell anyone about your MP3 collection.
“You’ve got an unlocked computer? Go to jail. A copy of Scribe that’s more than three versions out of date? ‘Hey, what else you got on that system? We’ll have to take it downtown and make sure you’ve got licenses for everything.’ Forget about search warrants, you gave up your rights in the EULA.
“Pity about all the free software hackers. But then, you just can’t let unstable, potentially psycho types have keyboards. All them video games proved that.
“You kids with the smart glasses and earplugs are pretty safe, but us oldsters are at constant risk of seeing something we’re not licensed for, or hearing something we shoulda’ paid for. I know this thing around my neck is a pain, and sometimes the bill at the end of the month is a surprise, but at least it gives me some legal protection in case I’m hauled in front of the Sony judge for illicit viewing.
“Before your teacher makes me sit down, I’ll just say this one last thing. Always remember that they can’t [________] [____] [______] [____]. Thanks, kids.”