Unstemming

Stems cells in the fight against going bald.

Prediction: All the pro-life-based politicization against harvesting and using stem cells in research will go out the window when the applications include one or more of: hair restoration, “enhancing” various parts of the anatomy, or a beauty treatment. (There are probably more, add ’em yourself).

Politician: “My constituents are dead set against the killing of unborn babies for research that is –”

Aid: “Can it. They found out about Rogain-SC.”

P: “Uh oh.”

Aid: “Yeah, the latest polls say to heck with babies, the voters want their hair back. And other, ah . . . stuff.”

P: “Where’s a nice, solid moral issue when you need one? Get me a few minutes with the Speaker, I’m gonna propose a bill.”

This is clearly a model for boosting other unpopular or Proxmired programs; get on the side of the voters with solid, selfish issues, ones that are easily understood. Who cares if lunar soil won’t really make you look ten years younger, the billion-year-old Helium-III just might do the trick (our researchers will get right on it). And Martian blueberries? Well, rumour has it that. . .

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