M and S

This was slashdotted, but it’s too good to pass up.

The County of Los Angeles purchasing department has decided to ban the phrase “Master/Slave” because of the phrase’s lack of “cultural diversity and sensitivity.”

This is stupid enough that even a fully operational bureaucrat should be able to realise that it’s going to leave LA county a laughingstock. But we all see where this is headed: rather than admit their mistake, there will be a pogrom of Ninja-coated SWAT teams raiding local computer stores, yanking shop-owners into the street while the shelves are purged of all politically incorrect labelling.

But the master/slave relationship is the tip of the irreverant techie iceberg.

DMA. Looks suspiciously like DAMN. Purge.

Mouse. This is slang for . . . never mind. Ban.

Bus Terminator. The ‘T’ word sounds bad, and we’re still trying to shake off the effects of that movie on our image. Eliminate.

Object Oriented Programming. Treating things like objects is demeaning. Rename.

Gone are: Screw, screwdriver, nut, hex. Don’t even think of stocking male or female connectors. The mission is to purge the languge of anything even remotely offensive. We’re gonna wind up in a corner saying “Duh, duh, duh” because that’s the only thing left to say that won’t offend anyone. We’ll be huddled in that corner under the protective gaze of the television’s two-way eye, wondering which two objects we rub together to get fire. If that were allowed. Fire is dangerous, and it reminds us of that thing you do with evil objects we’re not even allowed to think about any more, unless you’re a Ninja, in which case, sure, protect my rights, we trust you.

I mean, you sure got the Master/Slave thing right.

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