“Tell me a story”
“Once upon a time, a bear went to apply the latest Windows updates to his laptop. For a while things went fine, but near the end, at the very last two critical updates, he started getting an obscure error. No amount of rebooting or re-running would make them work. So he went out into the forest and started asking the creatures about what to do.
“Ready Rabbit asked if he had rebooted his computer. ‘Yes, I did,’ said the bear, and continued on.
“SQL the Squirrel wondered if he had executed the turn off / turn on procedure. Bear said, ‘I don’t see what difference that would make, but okay.’ He turned the laptop off and then turned it back on again, and the updates still didn’t work.
“Fixxit Fox asked if he had installed the latest updates first. The bear ate him.
“Finally, Awl the Owl gave him a link to a half gigabyte “Update Readiness Tool” that would fix the problem. He went home and downloaded and downloaded and downloaded and finally ran that puppy.”
“Daddy, daddy, what happened next?”
“Well, what do you think happened?”
“I think that his laptop ‘sploded all over the ceiling!”
“Did the laptop melt into a puddle of silicon slime and start slagging down through the floor like the molecular acid in that scary space movie I’m not supposed to see until I’m 27 and you don’t have to pay the bill for a therapist?”
“Did the updates work? I’ll bet they worked, Daddy!
“No. The bear put the laptop away in a corner, went to his blog and wrote down a rant.”
“Then he ran Linux! With a real window manager and not that Unity garbage!”
“With a real desktop and not that Unity garbage, yes. Bedtime for you.”
I haven’t actually installed Linux on that yet, but I’m sore tempted.