Seaing Clearly

When you wade into the ocean and a kid who’s six years old says, “Mister, you shouldn’t wear your glasses into the water,” just maybe you should listen. Because some six year old kids are smarter than you are.

Within five minutes I’d been turned upside down by a wave, and my prescription glasses (without which I can’t see more than about ten inches) had been washed off my face. Gone.

So I go to the kiosk where they rent things like masks and snorkels. Hey, I might search and get lucky. Only they won’t rent me anything because the waves are too high.

“C’mon, give me a break,” I wheedle. The kid running the kiosk looks slightly disgusted, and hands me a mask even though he’s not supposed to. Five minutes later a second wave upends me, rolls me around, slams me against the sand and rips off the borrowed mask. My breath has been knocked out and I just kneel down in the water, trying to suck in air while I wait for another wave to cream me.┬áThe mask is gone, too.

I know when to quit.

If you’re stupid like me, always carry a spare pare of glasses on a trip. And listen to wise kids. And don’t fuck with the ocean.

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6 Responses to Seaing Clearly

  1. Roger says:

    I’m similarly short sighted. Long ago I figured the trick is to wear daily disposable contact lenses when swimming. They are considerably harder to dislodge from your eyes, and you were going to throw them out at the end of the day anyway.

  2. For my bachelor party, some guys and I drove down to Nags Head, NC and set up for two nights in a hotel, just drinking and screwing around on the beach. Pretty low key affair.

    As soon as we get there, I take off my shirt and run out into the waves in my shorts to feel the waves for a few mins before unloading the car. WHAM. A wave knocks over me and my glasses are gone. I had no spares. I was basically blind for that three-day, two-night bachelor weekend experience. Yay.

  3. Glad you stopped when you were ahead. As much as it sucks to lose an expensive pair of glasses, they’re replaceable. You aren’t.

    Don’t cry for things that can’t cry for you.

    Take care…

  4. Walt says:

    I left a pair in the Atlantic in Myrtle Beach a few years ago. I’m blind enough that it delayed our leaving town by several hours while I got a quickie replacement set made.

  5. Bill Kearney says:

    Heh, got Lasik because my wife was rather disturbed when I told her I’d lost one of my contacts when the waves came over the bow of the boat (while still a half-hour from port). Of course then another birthday hits and… welcome to reading glasses… dang it.

    That and I remember starting to fish around for a pair of Maui Jim’s I’d lost when a wave up-ended me… then the futility of the gesture dawned on me..

  6. Patty says:

    This just happened to me on Saturday. I couldn’t wait to get into the warm water at Myrtle Beach, SC. At 60, you’d think I would know better right? Nope. I was up to my waist and a wave came along and knocked me under. All I could think of was to get up to the air. My daughter looks at me and says “Where are your glasses?” Well, guess what? Obviously somewhere in the ocean. I spent the rest of the weekend seeing blur.

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