Still forbidden

Adding to the list.

  1. Not allowed to put up signs with bogus directions to user play-testing sessions for a game that doesn’t exist, in a room that doesn’t exist.
  2. Not allowed to write, as many times as will fit, and in tiny letters, the words “fuckfuckfuckityfuck…” (and variations) on the publically visible whiteboad in the hallway.
  3. Not allowed to casually ask a VP, “Why haven’t you fired that guy yet?”
  4. I am sorry for the emotional distress that my manipulations of LEGO minifigs may have caused anyone.
  5. Not allowed to make a sign “Reserved for Steve Ballmer” in order to ensure a free table for our group at lunch.
  6. The Electrostatic Discharge machine is not a toy, nor can it be the basis of any dares or bets. (Wimps)
  7. Repeatedly running someone else’s “borrowed” badge against the card reader of one of the Forbidden Doors is not all that wise.
  8. There are no COM bugs that can be addressed by someone else’s honorable suicide, nor is public shaming a possible alternative.
  9. Not permitted to print copies of my alternative corporate newsletter to every network-attached printer on campus.
  10. Not permitted to drop test objects in the atrium from any balcony.
  11. Objects capable of powered flight are also forbidden.
  12. There are no useful applications of fire in software development.
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12 Responses to Still forbidden

  1. landon says:

    For #4, I should add that my normally imperturbable manager did a double-take and said, “Oh, Good Lord” when he saw my little LEGO diorama, and recommended that I disassemble it before HR caught wind.

  2. dos4gw says:

    #13. Never let HR catch wind of something, unless it’s an air biscuit you’ve floated as you walked past their desks.

  3. Charles says:

    Still forbidden: The company is relocating from a converted warehouse to an actual office building. The old space was so miserable that a large collection of desk and room fans exist. Affixing moving company destination tags to the fans so that every fan ends up on the desk of one particular victim^H^H^H^H^H^H coworker on Monday morning.

  4. MikeA says:

    What Charles did, but with a frozen turkey.

  5. Dan says:

    Still forbidden: Filling any coworkers office with any discarded equipment from any department.

    Doesn’t stop it from being funny when it ends up being Medicine Balls.

  6. Shamus H says:

    No wireless hover drones? Say it ain’t so…

  7. landon says:

    @Mike: No, unless they have them first :)

  8. Mish says:

    I have loved your blog for about 5 years now. Not coincidentally, I am a bit of a geek, and my oldest son turns 5 in a few days.

    Now, instead of using your blog entries to find things to look up on Wikipedia and explain what you were talking about once I’m done giggling, I can give something back. I feel fulfilled in a way that’s hard to explain right now.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtlYi1yLTVQ

  9. Chris says:

    No fires? I’m sure it can come in handy when you return from the christmas holiday to find your computer like this:
    http://themetapicture.com/funny-frozen-computer/

  10. MikeA says:

    @mish – Oh, fond memories of sneaking a Piezo gas-grill lighter into trade shows to do “impromptu ESD testing” of competitor gear.

    Who knew that the DECO cassette-based coin-op games would take so long to boot?

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