I will not superglue the pointless glass trophies we are occasionally awarded onto any surface in my manager’s office.
Not allowed to do anything to the Elmo doll that may compromise anyone’s emotional integrity.
Actually, I’m not allowed to superglue any thing to any other thing in the office, ever again.
Not allowed to claim that the towel dispensers are wired into the corporate network by tagging them with a real-looking asset sticker and a “contact for support” URL.
The ban on superglue also applies to the exterior of the building, its grounds, and the approaches.
Not allowed to wire vegetables into electric outlets “in the name of science.”
Not allowed to make the LED on a Kinect pulse like a heartbeat, even if it does look way cool.
Can’t leave unerased whiteboard notes on winning poker hands after meetings that are supposed to be about engineering.
Bad poetry in check-in comments is not allowed. (It’s unclear if good poetry is allowed).
Design documents that assume a spherical user will always be suspect, even if this is the video game industry.