Not Allowed (again)

I will not superglue the pointless glass trophies we are occasionally awarded onto any surface in my manager’s office.

Not allowed to do anything to the Elmo doll that may compromise anyone’s emotional integrity.

Actually, I’m not allowed to superglue any thing to any other thing in the office, ever again.

Not allowed to claim that the towel dispensers are wired into the corporate network by tagging them with a real-looking asset sticker and a “contact for support” URL.

The ban on superglue also applies to the exterior of the building, its grounds, and the approaches.

Not allowed to wire vegetables into¬†electric outlets “in the name of science.”

Not allowed to make the LED on a Kinect pulse like a heartbeat, even if it does look way cool.

Can’t leave unerased¬†whiteboard notes on winning poker hands after meetings that are supposed to be about engineering.

Bad poetry in check-in comments is not allowed. (It’s unclear if good poetry is allowed).

Design documents that assume a spherical user will always be suspect, even if this is the video game industry.

 

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6 Responses to Not Allowed (again)

  1. Mike Albaugh says:

    I’m not allowed to ScotchGuard(tm) the mktg VP’s towels, or drop wind-up toys in his drink. But I swear it was not me who put the ice swan from the distributor banquet in his bed. It was three other guys. And how the heck else do you think we are supposed to get through “road shows”?

  2. Barton says:

    Are you allowed to specify whether users have elastic or in-elastic collisions?

  3. bill says:

    Each and every one of these sounds good to me, but in particular the supergluing of the trophies, which I can do but have not, and the LED/Kinect hack, which I do not know how to do but would very much like to.

  4. Rob says:

    The canonical work on vegetables and electricity: http://www.hpl.hp.com/techreports/Compaq-DEC/WRL-TN-13.pdf

  5. Have they been making you stand in the corner, again?

  6. Wally says:

    Rob: The DEC report is wonderful!

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