The Unwelcoming Chair

So, you can’t lock your door, scowls and grumbles are impolite, and you can’t go to a coffee shop and get work done because you’re mucking around with specialized equipment that’s not portable. Also, tricks like orange traffic cones and string barriers do not deter the type of people who believe they are above “the joke,” or think that a mere five minutes will not distract you.  So what do you do if you are constantly being interrupted and you have to get stuff done?

If you have a guest chair, people will feel comfortable and welcome and stay to chat. They will put their asses down, natter away, and you will accomplish little.

If you do not have a guest chair, visitors will go find one from a nearby cubie, plonk the chair down and similarly settle in.

However, if you already have a guest chair, you can make it unusable by putting something on it — not an object easily moved, but (say) equipment that is wired up to other stuff and is difficult to displace .  Guests will then not overstay their welcome. Furthermore, they will often be unconscious as to why they are leaving sooner than they otherwise might, so it’s not like you’re actively and rudely shooing them away.


I have been quite busy the last couple of months.  However, a flu bug seems to have made a temporary home inside me, resulting in time for this posting, and you may be thankful I am not on Twitter.

I will have more to say when Ship Time is over.

This entry was posted in Rantage. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to The Unwelcoming Chair

  1. Bill says:

    I’ve always been a fan of the unwelcome chair that is a standard 4 legged wooden chair with the front legs cut shorter. This makes a slightly forward slope of the seat where the sitter must use a small amount of leg strength to stay sitting in the chair. It’s imperceptible when done right, but it makes it uncomfortable to sit in for any length of time due to the muscle strain.

    I think this is a better idea than a chair with stuff on it because some people might just find somewhere else to sit. The empty unwelcome chair will invite your visitors to sit on it, so that it can work its horrible deeds upon their weak leg muscles.

  2. landon says:

    @Bill: I thought I was being crafty. You, sir, are impressively evil.

  3. erik says:

    I had an Unwelcoming Chair. My boss would make a point of clearing it off before seating himself in it.

  4. Gerald says:

    “when Ship Time is over”

    Doesn’t that mark the beginning of the following Ship Time period?

  5. landon says:

    @Gerald: That depends on the modifiers in effect on the field of play. For instance, you can tap a “Re-org” card, or perhaps add “Maintenance Buffs,” and if things are really going swimmingly, “Ship Party Hangover” is good for a significant delay.

  6. Dan says:

    Bill, sir, you are brilliant.

  7. David says:

    After “Ship Time” comes “This time we’ll make the schedule and get all the features in the release version” optimism.

  8. Bob says:

    Funny looking at the new revised shipping calendar published back in June you will have to get through Hell Week, then Shitstorm, then Patches before you will have time for more thoughts. I love that calendar and have it framed and hung in the office.

  9. Mikey the C says:

    Another great solution is to just be rude and tell people you’re busy at the moment, that you’ll get back to them later that day (hah).

    If that doesn’t repel the invading forces, you could learn to fart loudly (and pungently) on demand.

Comments are closed.