To hell with taking off shoes (updated)

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re missing some important items in your carry-ons.”

“You’re kidding, right? I read the TSA web site before I packed. I’ve got the –”

“Yes, you have the 3 ounce canister of pepper spray and the handcuffs. But nothing else meets the requirements.”

“Well, my husband has –”

“Ma’am, I’m going to level with you. The Glock 19 is a good choice, and I’m happy with that, but you only have one ten round magazine, and they’re all 95 grain loads. What if you have to shoot someone?”

“My husband has a 1911, a 357 backup, and –”

“We’re talking about you, ma’am. I’d like you to dig around in that bin over there and find some better ammo. We’ll even upgrade you to a 45 if you want. And the airline is offering free miles for passengers with body armor.”

“Well . . . three magazines? Annnd . . . a set of those cute pink throwing knives?”

“That will do. Have a safe flight.”


International flights: Not being able to read a fucking book for the last hour of a flight?

Fuck that.  Impeach the TSA. It’s time to drop the curtains on security theatre.

Also: A thread on Bruce Schneier’s site: link


Update: Looks like they’re letting people have stuff on their laps again.  Link.

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4 Responses to To hell with taking off shoes (updated)

  1. robert says:

    Well, that’s what I call paranoid. Here’s a nice video about the state playing “big brother” in Germany. Fighting terrorism is a good excuse for almost anything nowadays.

  2. damaged justice says:

    G-d, I wish.

    Merry Christmas, and keep your powder dry.

  3. SDC says:

    Well, you’re almost as likely to be involved in a terrorist attack as you are to be killed by lightning the moment you find out you’ve won the lottery, so you can never be too careful.

  4. Houston says:


    I am ready to start taking the train and telling the TSA to blow off.

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