The Finance guy’s been screaming at the CEO all week
I’m lookin’ at our ad hits, and man, do things look bleak
All of Sales is drinking (and our admins sniffing glue)
We’ve got the ads-are-sinking web-two-oh recessionary blues
The doors in HR’s hallway have been shut tight for two weeks
But they forgot their laptop microphones, and forgot that we are geeks
With speech-to-text and streaming sound, we live-blog who they’ll choose
To join the ranks of unemployed recession-wary dudes.
Old Joe’s been through “tons of these,” he grimaces and spits.
“Son, look ’em in the eye and smile, it’ll give ’em shits.
Tell some jokes, say “Look, a blimp!” then steal their wallets and their shoes.
But do not go gentle into those recessionary blues.”
Everyone but me is gone, and now I’m all alone
Just me, the web farm’s roaring fans, and silent telephones
I’d sell it all on E-bay and take a real long cruise
But now I am the CEO, and I’ve really got the blues.