Children's Literature

Childrens’ books we passed up recently:

H. P. Lovecraft, To Think That It Thawed Out on Mulberry Street

Marco sees a street corner fish-seller’s stall on the way home from school, but it is oddly shaped and has recently been abandoned. He has never seen a fish-stall there before, and so he imagines who could have been running it: From suppliers of extremely strange fish, to denizens of the deep who hold coastal towns of fishermen under their sway, to the drowned tombs of the elder gods themselves … he wakes from his walking reverie to find himself at the door to his house, with a strange clay seal in one hand and an ancient, worn knife in the other…

Dr. Suess, Horton Hosts the Egg

Horton is the space navigation officer of a mining ship whose crew is brought out of hibernation early by an alien distress beacon. Upon investigation, the crew discovers an alien ship, and Horton is attacked by a face-hugging alien. Hilarity ensues.

Department of Homeland Security and Dr. Suess, Oh, The Thinks You Can’t Think!

From the preface: “Children learn what is permissible to think, and where, as well as how to observe parents, take notes, and keep logs of family activities. The importance of reporting on schoolmates who play D&D or read unapproved books is stressed. A handy list of phone numbers at the back provides numbers to call in case of suspicious activity.”

Dr. Sues, Mr. Brown Can Sue, Can You?

Mr. Brown drives a nice car, but he’s always in a neck brace. If a tree branch has fallen or there is a patch of ice on the sidewalk outside your house, or if a toy has been left out on your driveway, he is sure to be writhing on the ground nearby. Find out the secret to Mr. Brown’s successful lifestyle. Useful table of medical terms in the back.

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4 Responses to Children's Literature

  1. Rob Winchester says:

    I’ve always loved “The Attention Deficit Disorder Guide To… Hey Look! A Piece of String!!!”

  2. Raoul Duke says:

    wow. those completely rock, and you need to option them out to animation studios right away.

  3. Stephen says:

    Those are great. Very timely books. I like the last one (but my lawyer will be contacting you shortly about your use of it without my permission). :) Just kidding about the lawyer.

  4. William Mayo says:

    Heh.

    I was in the car with my girlfriend, and she mentioned the “Pig Pig” books, which she’d loved as a child. A friend of ours misheard her to have said “Butt Pig.” Some of the hypothetical (mis)adventures of Butt Pig included:

    “Butt Pig and Friends Dispose of a Corpse”
    “Butt Pig Visits the Slaughterhouse”
    and “Butt Pig Goes Feral After Two Weeks in the Wild”

    I think there’s an untapped market here.

    On a side tangent, I was surprised as a teen to find that Dr. Seuss did both sexually explicit art and political satire, albeit not under his nom de plume.

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